John and I talk, of course, but we’ve found that it’s best for a husband and wife not to take on the role of counselor. (We’ve both been to counseling in the past—once during the early years of our marriage, and then both of us separately around fourteen years ago.) God provided a gifted and Spirit-filled woman who was willing and able to be strong and truthful to me, all the while staying connected in love. Reentering the counseling office this year was a great gift. God timed it in such a way that I started in the early spring, in what became a year of unprecedented loss, grief, growth, repentance, healing and change.
God is changing me, and I praise him for it. I can actually say the rage is mostly gone, and with it my destructive style of relating. I am growing in knowing my true identity in Christ and my value in him like never before. I regret the pain I caused others but I am resting in the full work of Christ which is more than enough for me and all my failures. Becoming more fully his is freeing me to love my husband and to love the others he gives me, so much more in the way God desires. Healing is possible. It’s available. Oh, hooray.